Gum in My Hair

An embarrassingly honest blog

Worst Judgement Call I’ve Made on My Car To Date February 2, 2009

Filed under: No Common Sense — dulcedementia @ 7:33 pm

So, my car is a piece of crap. It runs poorly, it’s dirty, it has a big ass dent in the side, the tires are bald and there’s a huge hole in the muffler that makes my car sound like a NASCAR racer. Only my car does 0-60 in about a minute and a half.One other thing that is wrong with my car is the antenna. It is bent. I bent it somehow at some point in the last few years and it just keeps getting more and more bent. Over the last few months I have slammed my trunk on it, resulting in a horizontal antenna, rather than vertical. But I still had pretty good reception.

Yesterday, I went to the bank to deposit a check and the antenna looked like it was about to fall off. It was sticking way out to the side and moving it only made the metal fracture even more. I was suddenly flashing to the antenna flying off my car at 75 mph, crashing through some poor, unsuspecting soul’s windshield and impaling itself into their shoulder.

I decided then and there that the antenna had to come off.

But I forgot to remove it when I came out of the bank.

That night, I left work and there it was. The antenna. Jutting out at a right angle and then a wave of power came over me and I began to wrestle with it. Bending it this way and that. Left. Right. Up. Down.

Finally, the metal snapped.

But I did not hold the antenna in my hand separate from the car as I envisioned.

Did you know that there is actually wiring that runs up the antenna?

Yeah. Well, I didn’t.

The resulting 5 minutes where a frantic pulling and pushing and wiggling of the antenna trying to get the metal sheath off, but to no avail.

Finally, realizing I was never going to get that blasted metal of the wire and knowing I couldn’t just let it hang off the side of my car, I did the only thing I could think of at the time.

I slammed my trunk down on it hard.

And there it lays still. Wire snaking into the trunk off my car with a metal sheath lying on the dirty carpeting covering the interior of my trunk.

And, no, I don’t know if I still get good reception. I haven’t turned the radio on for fear of blowing up my car.

Editor’s Note: The antenna finally came all the way off, and I still get pretty good reception, except when I’m in Louisville.


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