Gum in My Hair

An embarrassingly honest blog

With Friends Like These… February 4, 2009

Filed under: Ooooh, Shiny, Pretty — dulcedementia @ 11:49 pm

Lately I have been feeling very blessed to have the kind of friends that I have in my life. Growing up, I was shy and didn’t have a whole bunch of friends. As I grew up, I became convinced that I would never have the kind of good girlfriends that so many people had because I was loud, vulgar and spoke my mind. But I look around me today and I have so many wonderful female friends that bring so much into my life. I’m a call you bitches out now!

Sport: I have finally found my raunchy equal in you. The conversations we have make me laugh so hard I want to vomit. I can be as disgusting as I want to be around you and you are never offended. In fact, sometimes I have a contest in my head to see if I CAN offend you. You complete me.

Enya: I like the way that you always seem so calm and put together all the time and then something utterly foul comes out of your mouth. I also love the way you can remove yourself from situations and provide amazing clarity.

Supe: Christ, you’re my fucking derby wife! What more do I need to say than that? I love the fact that I can make grammatical jokes around you and you laugh at them. I love your honesty and your sincerity. When I come back, we have to make sure we are on the same team so we can be a blocking pair.

Siouxsi: I meant what I said the other week about you having good hair, but it is SO much more. I just didn’t want to say what all the other girls had said. I love your honesty and the fact that you have been screwed over but still allow yourself to feel and care for people. It’s nice to have someone else who’s not totally jaded about men on my side.

Sinn: Woman, you make me almost pee my pants from laughing. You are so beautiful and look all fancy. Then you open your mouth. Your lovely, filthy mouth. Somehow, it’s sweeter because you say it with a southern accent.

Ellen: I am so privileged to get to share a birthday with you. You make me laugh with your humor and I love how good natured and patient you are with everyone and everything around you. You are such a great and loyal friend.

Manders: Thanks for being my enabler. You give me big, brass balls. If I ever end up in jail, it will probably be a night when I am hanging out with you. I love that you take up the mammoth task of organizing each person’s birthday and making sure everything is all lined up. I’ll be your court jester anytime.

Jacks: Lady, you need to move back down here. I love it when you are around. You have this great frenetic energy surrounding you and it gives me the giggles all the time. If you were here more often, I would be able to write more…

Cassie: You are officially my cool friend. You just have this natural ability to be cooling than the effing Fonz. I feel I am cooler by association. The great thing is you are cool without being a snob. You are down to earth, funny and extremely intelligent. Plus you have amazing legs.

Megan: You are like a glass of champagne with legs. And a brain. Your effervescent personality makes it impossible for me to stay in a bad mood around you. You are effortlessly personable and turn everything into a party. A fun party with dancing.

Yona: I love that you refer to being laid off as being made redundant. You’re just full of class like that. You’re like the opera to my cheeseburger. I love the fact that you can be a kind cynic. Also, you are one of my favorite people to sit next to while people watching.

Tif: You are an adventure waiting to happen. Anytime I go out with you, I know there’s some sort of unusual story hanging out around the corner ready to offer us pizza at 4 in the morning.

There are so many more wonderful friends that mean the world to me, but this post is getting really long and I’m starting to get all sentimental and shit.

Gotta go punch a wall or something.


7 Responses to “With Friends Like These…”

  1. cassie Says:

    And you are my badass, bitchin derby friend. My friend who can say the most profane things in the world but with that winning, disarming smile that makes it so perfectly hilarious. Let’s hang out more.

  2. Yona Says:

    Thank you Kelly it means a lot to me that I’m actually in this list! I love the way you appreciate all kinds of people for the way they are. I also love the line you wrote about me where you called me a kind cynic. Thank you.

  3. Alison Says:

    I can’t believe I made the list and am foul. YES!!!! Heart you and hope that you have your weekend packed soon.

  4. Sinn Says:

    Seriously dude. The accent does help. I love you girl. Anyone who could finish my thoughts on coffee and make me cry from laughing is so frickin up there its stupid.

  5. Supe Says:

    I love you!!! Thanks so much for giving me a shout-out. And I would be honored to be one-half of a blocking pair with you, my lovely wife. 🙂

  6. Sport Says:

    All I can say is:
    Wooo! I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1, I’m #1,!

    Suck it, Dulce’s other friends. Yeah, I’m always this charming.

  7. Jacks Says:

    Shit Kel–way to make me smile!! Ive been having the crappiest week ever, and you just made it all go away. I can’t wait to see you for the big b-day celebration, its going to kick ass!
    Love you, miss you tons, and thanks for making me proud of being me!

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