Gum in My Hair

An embarrassingly honest blog

Bumper my Stickers April 9, 2009

Filed under: Shut Your Mouth! — dulcedementia @ 11:21 pm

Just as a Registered Nurse is bound to have a pair of Crocs in her closet and a hipster has a pair of gold lame underpants from American Apparel, some cars seem to attract a certain type of person, who in turn, is attracted to a certain set of bumper stickers. Below are my observations as to what kind of car you should expect to see these bumper stickers on.

 

“Namaste” or “Free Tibet” stickers: Subaru Outback, Honda Insight

 

“I Ski ❤ Loveland” “No Pain, No Jane” stickers: Nissan Pathfinder, Jeep Cherokee

 

“McCain/Palin” stickers: Chevy Impala, BMW sedans and SUVs

 

“Obama” stickers: the rest of the goddamned human race

 

“Nos” or any other performance brand stickers: Honda Civic “with Wings”

 

“NIN” “ICP” “Korn” Stickers: 1991 Gray Nissan Sentra

 

“Calvin Pissing on Something” stickers: Chevy or Ford Pickup truck

 

“Stick Figures of the Family with the Names Underneath” stickers: Dodge Caravan or Ford Explorer

 

Microbrewery stickers: Honda Element, Toyota Corolla

 

Car most likely to be covered in bumper stickers from hood to bumper: 1987 Honda Civic

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