Gum in My Hair

An embarrassingly honest blog

Honk! Honk! Bleepity Blankedy Bleep! May 8, 2009

Filed under: No Common Sense — dulcedementia @ 9:18 pm

Something or someone may be trying to send me a message from the ether.

 

They are saying, “STOP FUCKING DRIVING, DOUCHE!”

 

The trip home on Tuesday was probably the most congested and hottest of the year so far, so I spent a lot of time sitting in traffic. Now, Priscilla (my car) has a broken thermostat, so whenever I have to sit still for a while, she gets hot. Red zone hot. Sometimes turning the heater on full blast helps the heat go down, but then I’m left sweating and on Tuesday I refused to be all sweaty in my car.

 

So Priscilla spent a good 15 minutes running in the red part of the thermostat. I got home, parked my car and did the requisite moves to exit the vehicle (Stuart was trying to be a gentleman one night and open the door for me from the inside while it was raining. Instead he pulled the handle off my driver’s side door.). I turned Prissy off and the following happened:

 

“Bucka bucka bucka pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.”

 

Then smoke (maybe steam, not sure) started pouring out of my car. From under the wheel wells (front and back), from under the hood, hell, it even started coming out of the little windshield wiper fluid nozzles.

 

I stood there, having a bizarre flashback to Back to the Future, and then I started thinking about how ugly the Delorean was. Then I remembered to pull my derby gear from out of the trunk. Just in case the car caught on fire. I watched as the smoke dissipated and decided, yeah, I guess I’ll walk to pub trivia tonight.

 

I let the car sit in my garage until Wednesday night, when I turned it on and drove it a few blocks. It seemed to be running alright, so I decided to take it to work the next day because I had to run some important errands.

 

Thursday morning, I made it 10 blocks before smoke started pouring out from underneath Prissy’s hood at 1st & Colorado. In a panic, I pulled off Colorado and on to the first side street I saw. I quickly scanned the street for no parking signs and didn’t see any, so I parked. God help me if I get a ticket.

 

Luckily I had $2 in cash on hand and I was able to hop on to the #40 bus and then the Light Rail and get to work only 10 minutes late. My lunch consisted of borrowing my sister’s car and getting a bus pass and dealing with my apartment complex and the eviction notice they left on my door Wednesday for being 4 days late with a part (not all) of my rent (even awesomer, I just tried to call them today, to make sure everything was squared away and their phone number has been changed to something else and the one I have has been disconnected). Fun stuff.

 

I just realized I am riding ATVs tomorrow up in the mountains. Crap. Can those things overheat? Do they ever spontaneously combust? I will e thoroughly checking every inch of my vehicle before I start it up.

 

That is, if it starts up.

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One Response to “Honk! Honk! Bleepity Blankedy Bleep!”

  1. Sport Says:

    Seriously. FYL


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