Gum in My Hair

An embarrassingly honest blog

Collector’s Plates July 1, 2009

Filed under: Ooooh, Shiny, Pretty — dulcedementia @ 5:40 pm

I hate the camera on my phone. It sucks. The zoom sucks. The resolution sucks. Therefore, I rarely take photos of people. Its primary purpose is to document bruises, my dog being naughty and weird license plates. While I’m sure you’d love to be bored to death with a slide show of my dog, I opted to share some of the weird license plates I’ve come across in the last year or so.

1. Nerdy and proud of it


That’s right SQL. Wizard. I mean, it’s paid off I guess. He is driving a Mercedes. I was both impressed and amused by the blatant flaunting of nerdiness here.



2. Wait. What?


This may seem innocuous enough, but this license plate is on a Mercedes. Really? I hope this is the poor sap’s initials and he didn’t realize what he was doing until it was too late. This plate is such an enigma to me. Was he like, “Weeeeeeeeeell, I really want a Jaguar, but I can only afford a stupid Mercedes, so I’m just going to make the license plate say JAG so people will think it’s a Jaguar.”


I’m still annoyed even if it is his initials. This isn’t fucking Pottery Barn where every little tea towel is embroidered with your initials. Are you that stupid that you have to put you initials on your car to recognize it?


I hope it stands for the first part of JAGoff.



3.Just Sayin’


That’s really it. Just sayin’.


4. Wow. That’s a low number


I know this is a bad photo, so if you can’t tell, the license plate number on this car is 2. That’s right. This is car number 2 of all the cars in Kansas. Which has got to be around like 35 cars total or so, right?



5. Ultimate D-Baggery


In case you can’t tell, this is a Mustang. A yellow Mustang. If that wasn’t already douchey enough, the guy has the fake Calvin grabbing his nuts and flipping everyone off bumper sticker. Wow. That’s even more douchey. But wait, there’s more! The guy’s license plate says “RECONIZ.” Really? Really??? This guy must have nuts the size of raisins and wiener the size of a cinnamon stick. Do you think he spikes his hair, fake tans and pops his collar? Because I think he does.


Those are my photos of license plates. Hope you enjoyed them.


And if you want to see pictures of my puppy being naughty that I have, I will give you a play by play narration of what he was thinking at the time, in what I think his voice sounds like.


One Response to “Collector’s Plates”

  1. Cassandra Says:

    I saw one near where you work on a Golf GTI that said “OMGWTF.” Best part: it was a European plate.

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