At the beginning of this year, le boyfriend’s twin brother, Fred, informed us he had just been hired for a new job in the Denver Tech Center area. Problem was, at the time, he lived a couple hours away from the company, so he asked Grant if he could stay with us during the week, while he worked and looked for a place closer to his new job.
I was actually quite excited about Fred coming to stay with us for a bit, because I hadn’t really had time to hang out with him and get to know him before then. Plus, I thought it would be great for the brothers to get to spend a bunch of time together.
Fred crashed on our couch for about a month and a half and I’m so glad he was our guest for so long. I spent nights watching nerdy TV programs with Fred, talking with him about his children and protesting loudly about the smell of his feet (“Man, you REALLY should get some odor eaters, Fred.”). I feel privileged to have been able to see Grant and Fred interact with one another. And I learned that, more than being identical, the two guys were actually complementary to one another. When Fred would get a little mopey, Grant would be the one to cheer him up by acting silly. Whenever Grant would get a little keyed up about something, Fred was there to calm him down. One is extroverted, the other, introverted. It was wonderful to see the two play off each other.
I seriously think one of their favorite games was teasing me. They would get going and then it became a contest to see which one of them could make me the most uncomfortable. Naturally, Grant usually won, but Fred always came in a close second.
I learned that one of the things Fred and Grant do identically is pass the fuck out. Both of them can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, and they can sleep through anything. There were some nights where I would be watching TV on the couch and suddenly I was being serenaded by surround sound snoring from the two brothers; one on each side of me.
Tragically, late last Monday night, Fred passed away.
The past week has sort of been a blur of teary hugs, sleepless nights and numerous glasses of beer raised in Fred’s name. But now, a week later, even though I am still incredibly sad and seeing the duffel sack of clothes Fred was keeping at our place is not any easier, I have decided that I am going to do my best to only think of the good times I was fortunate enough to have with him and try and honor the things I know he held so dear in his life.
Because I’m bad with grief and I make awkward jokes when I’m uncomfortable, I’m going to call it “Turning a frown upside down.”
In honor of Fred, Grant and I went to the final two Avs games and we are going to as many playoffs games as we can. It’s what Grant and Fred planned to do together, and I think he would want us to go and have a good time cheering on his favorite team.
I’m sorry if this post is somewhat fragmented or disjointed. It’s something I’ve been writing in my head for the past week, but it is not translating well in type.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, Fred is missed more than words can express, but I want to try and fill the hole he left with only good things. Good memories, good times with family and good goals for the future.
Miss you, buddy.