Gum in My Hair

An embarrassingly honest blog

The Sinister Little Pill August 6, 2010

Filed under: Shut Your Mouth! — dulcedementia @ 1:12 pm
Tags: , ,

OK, I’m going to give a warning for any gentlemen readers. I am going to talk about my lady parts and my lady time in some detail in this post. There. You’ve been warned. If you keep reading and get grossed out by me talking about menses, it’s your own fucking fault, dipshit.


I’m miserable and it’s my birth control pill’s fault.


I guess I’ll start from the beginning on this one. I’ve been on birth control pills since I was 18. I feel it’s my responsibility to protect myself from accidental pregnancies as much as it is the gentleman’s responsibility.


Up until about 3-4 years ago (I’m bad with timelines) I was on the same birth control pill: good ol’ Orth Tricyclen. During this blissful time, I was without any major PMS symptoms. Sure, I got cramps and I felt a little bloated, but that was about it.


Then my lady pillows started swelling a week before my lady time. It was so bad, I had a special larger bra for them. And forget about touching them. They were like swollen pain bombs attached to my chest. So, I talked to my doctor about it and we decided to take the hormone levels down a notch, so I switched to Orth Tricyclen Lo.


That’s when the menstrual migraines started. Before every period, I would get crippling migraines. For a while, I was able to cope with Treximet (a migraine pill), but then my company changed insurance and it was no longer covered ($250 for 9 pills is not really in my budget). So, I turned to my doctor again for help with the problem.


For the next year or so, I tried a myriad of pills and none of them helped. Some of them made things worse.


Yup. That about sums it up.



So I finally decided, that if I couldn’t get rid of my migraines, I would just skip a few of them by starting a pill that was a three month cycle. So I would only get my lady time four times a year.


At first it was wonderful. I spent months migraine free and was happy as a clam. Then, about 3-4 cycles ago, things took a turn for the worse and currently, my PMS lasts an. Entire. Month.


For four months out of the year, my body and mind are held hostage by a mean little pill. I suffer from migraines, back spasms, joint pain, swoooooollen lady pillows, cramps and awful depression. Many days, there is no joy to be had. I want to cry over everything and I consider losing my job just so that I can lie on the couch under a blanket all day.


For an entire month.


So, yes, I am switching off this horrible little pill. I plan to get an IUD to get off all these crazy hormones, but I have to save up for it first. It’s $600. I currently have $20. So, I have to take a filler pill until the time comes when I can afford the magical little IUD.


Unfortunately, I still have three more weeks of misery to decide which pill is right for me, but I was wondering if any ladies have a pill they actually like. I’ve tried Ortho TriCyclen (regular and lo), Yaz, Yasmin and one other that doesn’t look like it’s on the market anymore.


Honestly, if left to chose on my own, I’ll probably go back to ol’ faithful, I was just wondering if anyone else had suggestions. It would make me happy to hear them.


Once the PMS is over.

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8 Responses to “The Sinister Little Pill”

  1. enyabiznass Says:

    I think the one that I was on that I loved was Necon. I think it’s high estrogen, low progesterone. I can’t believe I’ve forgotten, but it’s been over a year, so…

  2. Vern Says:

    Uhm, not to give unsolicited advise, but have you sought out Planned Parenthood? They do IUD’s and all BC methods on a sliding scale and you may find it much cheaper than $600.

    I have an IUD and LOVE it. I’m a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good bitch on hormones and swear by mine — I feel a little Borgish, but you know. My only complaint is heavy cramps, but that’s what ibuprofen is for.

    • dulcedementia Says:

      I have a friend who went to PP for hers and paid the insurance copay of $35, but when she looked at her insurance claim the other day, it was for $600 too, and they must have just not charged right. I’m tempted to make an appointment and just bring $35 to see if it works for me.

  3. Lizzie Says:

    I don’t have any good advice for pills, but I feel exactly the same way on them and it is so nice to know it’s fairly normal. I have been talking to a lot of different people about IUD’s and it seems like the copper T is the way to go! I’m so done with hormones. I cry like crazy all the time and start to think everything in the world sucks and nothing I can do will make life better. It blows and I’m really ready to be off the crazy-pill.

  4. nobleone247 Says:

    I like you am on the 3 month stuff. I was on Nuva Ring and loved it but decided to switch so I could be period free for most of the year. Lets just say in the end I can’t wait to be ready to have kids so I can get off this shit!

  5. vestalvespa Says:

    I saw you waiting at a bus stop today!

    But on the subject of which you speak, I am fairly sure I actually DID lose a job at least in part to the fact that I was an emotional WRECK while on the horrible, horrible PATCH.

    These things are different for everyone… I’ve loved Yasmin for the past five years, just for the fact that the emotional issues seem to be gone (in their place: monster tits. I’m less excited about that than you might think). But I’m even considering tossing the pill in favor of regular old condoms for a while just because I don’t really know myself anymore without being under the influence of hormones. I’d love to know what my body and mind are like without them.

  6. ladysmith Says:

    I also was on a pill that gave me migraines (my Dr offered to put me on beta blockers until I suggested we trying using a pill other than the one that coincided with the increased incidence of migraines). The one that didn’t seem to have any side effects for me and so I settled on for the longest was Mircette (they have a generic which is what I actually took). However, in hind sight I think it affected my libido to some degree, so fair warning on that. But, other than that, my only PMS was occasional cramping really.
    I guess I’m the opposite of most ladies on here, since pre-BC I was a raving lunatic bitch and even my parents were happy when I started taking medication for my PMS (650mg naproxen 2x daily will chill you the fuck out, and also helps with debilitating cramps). Now that I’m off the pill, even though it’s just cycle 2, and even though I was expecting terrible PMS, I don’t seem to be hulking out just yet. But, I may be biased so you should ask the people I hang out with. They’ll tell you the truth. Or, I’ll beat them up.
    Good luck!!!

  7. […] for about 6 months. I was a little hesitant because of the previous experience I had had with an oral contraceptive and the horrible craziness it produced. It was deemed “THE WOLF” by my ex and I think that is a […]


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