Gum in My Hair

An embarrassingly honest blog

Don’t Tell Me What You’re On February 18, 2011

Filed under: Shut Your Mouth! — dulcedementia @ 2:26 pm
Tags: , , ,

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I just finished a mammoth project for a client in five days. 35 pages (and by pages, I mean web pages, the actual docs are more like a page and a half each) of content on various drugs, their side effects, withdrawal symptoms and the methods in which these drugs are abused. It was really interesting and I learned a lot in the process.

And they all give you diarrhea...

For the last five days, I have read through pages and pages of FDA reports, SAMHSA surveys and NIDA reports. And I gotta tell you, I am now terrified of ever being put on pain killers, benzos or sleep aids. I basically spent the last five days making a huge list of why I will never, ever abuse prescription drugs.

I can rattle of the withdrawal symptoms for opiates, benzodiazepines, sedative hypnotics, barbiturates and stimulants. And I’ll tell you the one thing they ALL have in common: diarrhea.

Seriously, if you decide to quit a prescription drug, chances are pretty high you’re going to get the Hershey squirts. Gross.

Also, I learned the new meaning of horror when I discovered the medical disorder Status Epileptucus. It’s a disorder where your brain gets stuck in a permanent state of seizure. You will be seizing. All. The. Time. It is a withdrawal symptom that can occur if you don’t properly wean yourself off benzodiazepines. Oh, that stuff can also cause psychosis and rage during withdrawal.

Many of you who know me well, know I have a knack for storing this sort of information away in my brain for months or years, so I won’t be forgetting this stuff anytime soon.

So please, for the love of god, folks, for about the next month at least, please don’t tell me what medications your taking for pain or anxiety or ADHD or insomnia. I really don’t want to have a minor freak out and list all of the possible side effects you may experience.

Especially don’t tell me if you’re taking Ambien. I don’t want to spend my nights worried about you accidentally sleep fucking someone.


3 Responses to “Don’t Tell Me What You’re On”

  1. enyabiznass Says:

    One of the prescription drugs I’m on definitely caused diarrhea for a while and/or months when I first started it. The other one I’m on only seems to cause vivid and wacky dreams. It did not cause the deadly rash that it threatened, so that’s good.

  2. Sport Says:

    I’m on Ambien. Mike and I refer to it as Ambien Rape. He has to watch me extra carefully when I take it because I’ve tried to go for walks in zero degree weather wearing only my skivvies, I forgot who he was, and I tried to snuggle with one of that cats that I’m very allergic to. But whatever dude, at least I get some sleep and some ass. *high five, Ambien*

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