I went to Office Depot yesterday to pick up some silly office-y things. It was sunny and I wanted the excuse to get out of my apartment, so rather than order online, I decided to hoof it down to the one on the 16th Street Mall (is that one on Colfax still open? For some reason I didn’t even consider it because it looks all old and dilapidated and, well, closed).
I don’t think I’ve suffered such sticker shock since I got my first Excel bill in a drafty apartment. Seriously. $3.50 for 50 envelopes! And those aren’t even the good kind with the pull off strip. I have to lick these fuckers!
$6 for four dry erase markers! Oh, and one of them works for shit. It looks like a fluorescent orange cum stain on my dry erase board.
$4 for a plain blue mouse pad? Maybe the extra cost is for the bullshit weird smell it emanates. It’s like a cross between a tire factory and a ham sandwich. Fucking blue mousepad. I only got blue because the red had a giant OFFICE DEPOT tattooed across it. Like FUCK am I going to PAY $4 so that this company can advertise. I can see the conversation now:
Them: “Sweet! Where are they giving away free Office Depot mousepads?!?!”
Me: “Oh, they’re not. I bought this one for $4.”
Me: “Yeah. I know.”
At this point, I’m just hoping that all of my shitty office supplies were manufactured using fucking blood diamonds or something.
And I’m shopping online for this kind of shit next time.
Fucking capitalist swine.