Gum in My Hair

An embarrassingly honest blog

You Know, Someone’s Gotta Clean That Up April 6, 2011

Filed under: Shut Your Mouth! — dulcedementia @ 1:12 pm
Tags: , ,

We’re adults now. Well, in the “our bodies have stopped growing (upwards, anyway) and we’re no longer going through puberty” sort of way. I know we all still have our childish hangups. Some of us still collect action figures , some of us still live with our parents and some of us *cough*me*cough* still giggle like a 12 year old anytime we hear the word “thrust.”

My point is, at this point, we’ve learned how to take care of ourselves to some degree. We brush our teeth without getting told to, we pay our bills on time for the most part and we do our best to make sure our home stays some acceptable degree of clean. I know I’m not the cleanest lady ever to walk this earth. I do dishes like once a week (which is why some nights I end up eating spaghetti with a spoon; more proof I’m a girl bachelor), my clothes don’t get washed as often as they should and I never make my bed.

But one thing I always keep relatively clean is my bathroom. I cannot stand a nasty bathroom. Even if it’s a quick wipe down, I still keep it looking pretty ok and I think most women do about the same (at least, it’s evident in the friends’ bathrooms that I’ve seen).

That’s why I cannot understand the mayhem I experience every Monday night when I go to clean my local yoga studio.

Why bother? You're just going to mess it up again.

It’s a killer deal, really. I do 2 hours of volunteer cleaning work, and in return, I get unlimited yoga. For that, I’ll clean mats and wash out showers once a week. However, I have to say that I’m highly disappointed that I experience the disaster that I do every Monday night.

Ladies, treat your gym’s locker room with the same respect you would your own bathroom. Don’t just leave mouthwash spilled all over the counter. If you spooge lotion on the counter, wipe it up. Please flush the toilet after you go (as far as I’m concerned, there is NO “mellow” rule when public toilets are concerned). And for the love of God, stop forgetting your underwear on the vanity! I throw away one pair at least once a month.

I’m not kidding, the men’s locker room is cleaner. With one exception: I’m pretty convinced they’re human sponges that wring out once they step out of the shower. Seriously, I have to use a dry mop (that winds up soaked) to clean up the puddles. But other than that, the men throw their Kleenex in the trash, they pick up rogue TP and they even flush the toilet.

What’s so different that they all of a sudden have more respect for their space than women do?

Now, I’m not saying I don’t expect their to be any mess when I come to clean up, but I have flat out given up cleaning before a class gets out because I know all my hard work will get messed up in 5 minutes flat when the ladies enter the locker room.

All I’m asking is for you to treat your local gym’s locker room like you would your own bathroom. And if you can’t do that, just think about the fact that another human being has to clean that shit up and making a mess like that really grosses that human being out.

Oh, and if there’s a sign on the bathroom door CLEARLY stating not to flush your lady hygiene products, DON’T FUCKING FLUSH THEM!

I’m sick of plunging toilets.


4 Responses to “You Know, Someone’s Gotta Clean That Up”

  1. Dana Deason Says:

    I’ve cleaned for barter many times. Win-win for everyone!

    • dulcedementia Says:

      Oh I totally agree, Dana. This is a pretty cherry gig and I have no intention of losing it anytime soon.

  2. Ok… so i have cleaned the restroom of both genders and couldn’t agree more. I am biased… I have 4 younger sisters….

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