If Resolutions are for Suckers, Just Call Me a Tootsie Pop. December 31, 2012

This isn’t going to be a post about working out more in 2013. This isn’t a post about eating healthier in 2013. It’s not about finding emotional balance and it’s certainly not about achieving fiscal responsibility (I’m buying a camper and traveling around the country, remember? Not exactly “responsible.”). This is about me making a resolution to do something that makes me happy.

You see, I think resolutions should be something that enriches our lives. It’s something that we may not necessarily need to do in order to keep having a healthy life; something small that we don’t consider important until we have it in our lives. Last year, I made the New Year’s resolution to see at least one concert a month all year, and with the exception of March (you know, when I went to Mexico for a week), I more than met my resolution. Just a few of the bands I got to see this year:

• Bag Raiders
• Graffiti6
• Electric Guest
• Justice
• The Adicts
• Matt & Kim
• Gotye (It’s not the video you think it is, I promise)
• Marina & the Diamonds
• Murder by Death
• Yeasayer

And SOOOOOOOO many more. Of course, my favorite local band is Bonnie and the Beard, who I discovered at the Underground Music Festival thanks to a buddy of mine. I’m in love with them. No seriously.  All of them.

The point of last year’s resolution was to force me to listen to more music and to listen to it live (obvi) because, well, I love music, but I had gotten in a bit of a musical rut and I wanted out, so what better than to see new music live? If a friend invited me to see a band play and it was under $10 and I was free, I went almost without question. Because of that, I expanded my knowledge of genres and artists and I expanded my mind, soul and heart.

And I totally achieved a goal.

This year, I spent some time thinking about what I wanted to get out of 2013 that was new to me and incorporated my interests. My little gears got going and I thought, “Well, I love street art (so much so that I got a tattoo of the Denver flag “spray painted” on my arm this year) and I love the city and I love the simple pleasures of discovering a new piece of art around a corner or down an alley.”

Plus, since I’m taking off to travel around the country this year, I have all these opportunities to discover the little things in every city, tucked into corners, sprayed on dumpsters and pasted to walls. So I decided that this year, my resolution is to pay attention to the little things.

Sort of.

Paying attention meant I found my skater name sprayed on a dumpster in Cap Hill!

I’m not going to make a resolution so grandiose as that. But I am going to resolve to see a moment every day.

This year, I’m going to post 365 days of street art. I’m going to take a photo of art every single day this year and hashtag it #streetart365 so that at the end of the year, I can go back and see them all at once and remember all of the little moments I took time to document in 2013.

Some days will probably be shit and others, I’ll probably have an abundance, but to make sure I’m always looking is the point and not necessarily the quality each day.

I’ve told a couple people and they’ve looked at me like I’m crazy, but fuck it. If I can remember to take an allergy pill every morning, I can certainly remember to take the time to find something new and unique every day.

So now I’m curious. What are you going to do this year to renew yourself? What are you going to do that lifts you up and expands your heart and mind?

If anyone of you says “lose 30 pounds” I will punch the weight right off you. I think a lot of us want that, but I think it’s easier to accomplish the physical goals when our hearts are happy and our minds are at peace.

Tell me that story, loveys. Tell me that story.

It’s Not That I Don’t Want to Hang Out… September 11, 2012

I promise. Really. I would love nothing more than to be out with all of my awesome friends all of the awesome fucking time drinking all the fucking booze. However, I’ve been developing some plans for the last several weeks and what it means is, well, I just can’t hang out doing things anymore.

First, I’M NOT PREGNANT. I have a little thingy in my arm that’s rendered me pretty much infertile for the next three years and, well, other physical acts have to take place in order for that to even be a remote possibility and those things aren’t happening. So. Yeah. Now you know too much about my dating life or lack thereof.

I digress. The reason I can’t do all of the fun things is because I’m saving up. Saving up for something very important. That will, I hope, change my life.

NO, I’M NOT ADOPTING A BABY. Come on guys. What’s with the baby questions? Sheesh.

Alright, enough. I’m only renewing my lease in Denver for six more months, then I’ll be moving in with one set of my parents (I should probably tell them, right?) right after I purchase a vintage camper. For the next several months, I’ll spend my time working, saving and refurbishing said camper.

Hopefully, by the middle of next summer, all of my plans will have worked out close to the way I hope and I will be setting off to drive around the country for a year (maybe more, who knows?) while still working from the road. My goal is to hit 48 states in 52 weeks. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

OMGOMGOMG. It’s SOOOO cute!

So why in the sweet fancy fuck am I doing something like this?

Because I need to. I said it out loud several weeks ago and every molecule of my body knew that this was the next big step in my life. I’m at a turning point in my life and I need to have a grand adventure at least once in my life.

But, no, really, a vintage camper? Driving? Kelly, do you even know how to drive anymore?
Yes, really, a vintage camper (canned ham style, to be exact) and, yes, I still drive, asshole. Just because I don’t own a car doesn’t mean I don’t drive from time to time. The reason I want to drive around the country is because I feel like we miss so much of the beauty in our country by hopping a plane from here to there.

Half a century (sheesh) ago, this is what families did. They piled into a camper and hit the road to see this great country and I want to see our beautiful country this way as well. It’s the great American adventure the way it once was.

I also have friends spread around the country that I would love to be able to see and reconnect with. What better way than to drive around saying hello to all the folks I love?

My final goal is to experience the culture and food in a lot of the cities that I’ve never made it to yet and to visit old favorites in the cities I have visited. You can be damned sure I’m spending a whole week in New Orleans because I’m going to eat everything they make there.

This is something that’s extremely important to me to accomplish, so, well, if I want to do this, then Happy Hours and 10-15 concerts a month just have to go. So, please know that if you don’t see me out as much as I normally am, it’s not that I don’t love you all so much. In fact, if it wasn’t for my friends, I wouldn’t be at this wonderful, adventurous part of my life. It’s just that I’m trying to save up for a dream.

BUT, here are things I’m MORE than happy to do with friends:

• Have dinner, drinks games and snacks at homes. Mine or yours.
• Go hiking!
• Meander aimlessly around the city and talk about nothing in particular (it happens to be one of my favorite things to do already)
• Watch a DVD or Netflix together

Thanks to you all for being the kind of people that helped shape me into the fucking kickass chick I am today!

Here, This Blog Ought to Cheer You Up June 18, 2012

It’s Monday. I’m balancing a lot of stuff on my plate. Sometimes shit just gets overwhelming.

And when that happens, I take to the internets to cheer me up. I have several videos and bits that really make me happy every time I watch them, so I thought I’d just go ahead and share a compendium of the ones that make me laugh and smile so that maybe your Monday gets a little brighter too.

Hold on to your hats, kiddos, because here we go.

This is, in my opinion, one of the best things ever created by humanity.

My little ponies: adorable. Wu-Tang Clan: Bad ass. Method Man’s asthmatic rhymes: mmmmmmmm. This video: Amazeballs.

I want to marry Louis CK. Honestly, I could have put any of his stand up here. I want to have his little ginger babies.

FENTON! OH JESUS CHRIST!

I don’t even need to watch. The sound alone is pure gold. I’m considering making this the ringtone on my phone.

The guy is a total douchenozzle for goading this goat, but the spitting and anger is just hilarious.

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

Oooooooh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit! This is my favorite Patton Oswalt bit.

In my dreams, I’m in the middle of an Eddie Izzard/Louis CK sandwich. I love this man.

My New Favorite Meme: BENTON! November 23, 2011

I’ll admit it, the first time I saw this video, I giggled, but I didn’t laugh too hard. Then I watched it again and again and each time I watch, I laugh harder. Now you should watch it too.

Ok, now watch it a few more times.

Now, watch all of the awesome offshoot videos created from this one video.

Then I was bored last night and went onto cafepress.com and designed this awesome shirt:

Stop and LOOK! November 14, 2011

It’s been around two and a half years since I gave up my car. Maybe less, I don’t know, unless there’s an “o’clock” next to it, I’m really bad at gauging time. But I think it was around two and a half years. Sure, there are days when I wish I had a car. Have you ever tried hefting a 50 pound bag of dog food home? Yeah, no, neither have I. But that’s what friends are for and if I’m really in a bind, I know I can count on one of them to bail me out. So, sure, I have to leave a little earlier for things. Sure, I have to sit next to some funk on the bus, but you know what, I would change it for the world. You know why?

I like the way that this sticker tore. I think it's pretty. That's all.

Because I get to see the city. I mean really see it. We miss so much zooming through neighborhoods in our cars and, yes, our bikes (I use my Millie for anything over a mile). When you walk, you really get to take in everything. Hell, even the bus is a nice, passive way to get around and stare out a window without any social pressure to make conversation with the person sitting next to you.

The saying goes, “God is in the details.” To change it around for my fellow atheists, “Beauty is in the details.” We’re so inundated with bright flashing lights, billboards and messages shouting at us from every possible medium, that we’ve stopped noticing all of the small things that make up the beauty in the world around us and give us insight into humanity.

It’s one of the biggest reasons why I love street art so much. It makes people who might not ordinarily pay attention to a drab brick wall, stop and maybe even take a picture of the discovery of a beautiful work of art pasted to the side of an abandoned building. Also, street art rewards those of us that pay attention to our surroundings as we walk. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pointed out art to friends that they walked right by because it was on the sidewalk or the lower corner of a building or electrical box.

When you look at your surroundings, you start seeing the little things. The pieces of frost clinging to one of the most goddamn stubborn, resilient roses you’ve ever seen. The deep, rich maroon of one singular leaf clinging to a barren branch. The kindness of a homeless man sharing half of his cheeseburger with his dog.

In my opinion, these are the little things that make up a whole that is a pretty wonderful life and I’m always shocked when people don’t see the same things I do. I guess it makes sense. We spend so much time involved in things that take us inward or give us tunnel vision: computers, phones, video games and more. It seems like we’re starting to forget how to look outward for inspiration and awe.

So, here’s my challenge to you. Take a 30 minute walk around your hood. Bring some music if you want, I find having a soundtrack is always nice. But no email, no phone calls. Just re-engage with your senses. Really look at all of the details surrounding you and be grateful for it. Your eyes have so much to look at; your nose, so much to smell, your ears, so much to hear.

Just stop and look and marvel at the world around you.

Talk Nerdy to Me April 12, 2011

Shut. The fuck. Up.

I know that was the most cliched title I could have ever written, but, well, I couldn’t think of anything better. Think of it like getting “Rio” stuck in your head and then trying to compose a lyrical/musical masterpiece.

You’re all, “I must compose something with depth that will span generations and make the cold hearted week with joy.”

And you’re brain is all, “And when she shines she really shows you all she can.
Oh Rio, Rio dance across the Rio Grande!”

Anyway, I digress.

Lately, my mind’s been getting blown like a non-threatening white male with a 2009 Ford Mustang who keeps buying lemon drops for the moderately attractive girl who is obviously on the rebound (read: a lot) by technology. Ladies and gentlemen, in the past few months, I’ve developed the creeping sensation that, in fact, the future is now and I couldn’t be more tickled about it.

Most of the amazing advances in tech are actually just new companies putting a new spin on old concepts, primarily, making them mobile through smart phones. I’ll put aside my beef with Apple for now and just go ahead and say that phone iPhone and Android phones have some truly amazing apps that are being created for them. So many so, that I can’t begin to even cover them all.

Mmmmmm, smartphones.

But I wanted to talk about a couple companies/apps/sites that have impressed me thoroughly with their innovation.

Now. That being said, if another app similar to the one I’m talking about exists and existed before this company, please feel free to elaborate. I’m merely speaking completely on my experience.

Venmo
OK, so all you savvy business ladies and gents probably know about Square (I won’t go into this mind fucking boggling idea here, just click the link and have your earth shattered) and it’s awesomeness. A lot of us probably use Paypal quite a bit too, so most of us are familiar with non-traditional forms of payment. But Venmo. Now that’s a cool idea incorporating web payments and smart phones.

This website and app (iPhone and Android) allows the user to send and charge money over their phone to friends who use the program. Yeah? So?

Can you… can you imagine what this would do for splitting a bill at a restaurant or paying a friend for gas money? It’s small payments like this when we say “I’ll get you next time” that are easily remedied.

For example, this weekend a buddy and me went to a Grand Opening on South Broadway and decided to take a bus down there, however he didn’t have cash and I did, so I paid for our fares both ways. Now, we solved the payback dilemma by me paying less on our dinner bill, but we could have also solve it by him sending me $4.50 through Venmo. Am I the only one who gets their mind blown out of the water by this??

Dropbox
So many of us have one or 17 thumb drives. We keep them in our pockets, our purse or keychain. We throw stuff on them to transfer back and forth from computer to computer or when we’re gifting our friend some music. Thumb drives break and they get really dirty and they (mine at least) gross me out.

Enter Dropbox (dear god, thank you Levar for this intro). Sign up online. Download a desktop app and a mobile app. Voila! You’ve now got access to files in your Dropbox at anytime from any computer anywhere or your fucking phone! I can now take anything else on my laptop that’s NOT a Google doc and store it in my Dropbox as a sort of back up. Oh, and up to 2 GB is free. Woot!

Is it hot in here, or is it just this multi-platform software?

So, I know there are just a ton of great apps out there that are mind bogglingly amazing and if you know of one, I’d like to hear about it.

Then download and/or install it.

Then sit back, relax and have my mind blown right outta my face.

The Poetry of Street Art March 4, 2011

Most people use their camera phones to take pictures of themselves or friends or goofy cereal boxes. I’m glad for the invention of camera phones for one reason and one reason alone: graffiti. Yeah, street art. I love it. I love the thrill of spotting a new “installation” on the corner or the smile it gives me to see blatant acts of intelligence and wit sprawled out on cement for everyone to see.

The photo file on my phone is quickly filling up with posters and spray-painted artwork and, though I share a lot of the finds on a site called Unseen Denver (if you don’t know, now you know, now go!), I want to showcase some of my favorites here for all to see the great street art you can find around Denver if you just keep your head up and actually look at your surroundings. I’ve noted the locations as best as I can remember. Some of these are over a year old.

I totally love Denver too! By the Rose Medical Center

This is by far one of my favorites. RTD Bus Stop at Colorado & 9th

9th & Grant

This is actually chalk and it was gone in a couple days. 12th & Logan

11th & Grant

On the side wall at Benny's Mexican Restaurant. 7th & Grant

12th & Penn

I love the way spray paint runs. 12th & Washington (I believe)

This was over by City Park. I DID have a fabulous day after I saw it.

13th & Lincoln

Alleyway between Penn & Pearl on 11th.

 

Near the Whole Foods on 11th.

On the guard rail at 13th & Penn.

Requisite Christmas Blog December 15, 2010

This year is the first year I’ve decorated my apartment since my divorce. I don’t really think it’s any sort of milestone or anything of note other than to illustrate the fact that I haven’t decorated for Christmas in 3 years. It had nothing to do with not wanting to dredge up old memories of a Christmas with my ex. Most of it was due to sheer laziness actually.

The tree that's as tall as me!

Also, the last two years, I’ve lived in a fairly expansive apartment in the Murder Building Complex and decorating just seemed like such a daunting task. But not with a studio apartment! I took a couple hours over the course of the last few nights and put up some garlands and lights and then Sunday I got my tree. A really real tree. Which is the first time I’ve done that in a decade.

Garlands and ornaments!

And I’ve decorated this year because, well, this year feels special to me for some reason. I’ve been filled with a warmth for several weeks now. A feeling of gratitude for friends and family and the light they bring into my life. Christmas is that time of year when we all start to think about giving (and about DVDs we’d like to get) and our hearts become more charitable than most other months.

But for me, Christmas this year is a reminder of all the open hearts and kind souls that have been giving towards me for the entire year. The last 365 days have been some of the most difficult and most rewarding days of my entire life and even though there are events and decisions I sometimes imagine changing, I know that I would never actually want to because they led me to this point right here.

The woman I am at this point is strong, compassionate, intelligent and a fucking cut up. I pretty much rock.

The decorations in my apartment are a reminder of the giving and compassion I have been shown throughout this year and every time I plug in my lights in the evening, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude.

It's like the archway was made for these lights and garland.

Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate. I hope I have a chance to give back to you all in the year to come.

Crimmus List December 10, 2010

What I like to call “poor week” or “destitution week” is over! I got my monthly paycheck today, which means I can finally start thinking about all of the things I need to get for Christmas presents this year. Now, this year, I’m basically going to take a giant craft in my pants and make most of the gifts. Thanks to Instructables.com, I think I’ll be able to pull off some pretty cute stuff without spending an asston of money.

Of course, now that I’m getting in the holiday spirit, my mind drifts to what I would like this holiday season. Yeah, I already sent out a list, but it was the saddest, most realistic list ever (seriously, I asked for shampoo and conditioner), so I’m going to post my fantasy list here since I have no expectations of anyone actually getting any of this stuff.

And if you do, well, maybe I’ll make you breakfast sometime. Just sayin.

Pizza Pi Cutter – I have a bit of an obsession with the Pi symbol. And I eat pizza sometimes. It would go perfectly with my Pi ice cube tray.

Robot Unicorn Attack Tshirt – I don’t even think I need to explain why this is so awesome.

HTTPanties -A gal needs drawers…

Blik.com Gift Certificate – The most amazing wall decals ever. I have just the place to put one in my apartment.

Crocheted Peas in a Pod – Shut. The Fuck. Up. Are these not the cutest fucking things you have ever seen in your life?!?! I would carry them with me everywhere and every time I pulled them out of my pocket, my nose would wrinkle from a cuteness smile.

70’s Coral Lily of France Lingerie – You know, every lady deserves to feel like a movie starlet from time to time. I always feel like a celebrity anytime I wear long, fancy gown-like lingerie. Plus, I know this woman and she sells just the most amazing stuff. Go LOCAL!

Dollhouse Season 1 & 2 – I have never had so many out loud expressions of shock as I have watching this show. Far and away my favorite show currently. Also, Tahmoh Penikett. Guh.

So there’s a pretty good starter list of things you can get me for Christmas. Now go be good little consumers and buy me something.

Just kidding.

But not really. Sort of.

Denver Adventures November 16, 2010

So, my absence from this blog over the last has probably totally gone unnoticed since, you know, there are much better things you could all be doing with your time. However, I thought I would take a moment to explain my brief disappearance.

Last week was effing busy. Like it was one of those weeks that sneaks up behind you while you’re looking to the future, sticks a gun to your back and menacingly whispers, “You will not get more than four hours of sleep a night for 4 days in a row. Now MOVE!”

And the funny thing is, I’m not totally opposed to these sorts of weeks, especially if every day is different, which was the case last week. They can be treated as urban adventures in this little concrete jungle called Denver.

Two Sundays ago, I woke up, walked my dog and at 2 O’ Clock, I made my way over to my friend’s apartment ac couple blocks away from mine for some crafting and some Sangria. We were making Christmas cards and the poor lady that had come to demo her crafting/scrapbooking/stamping wares had no idea what she was in for. I was already two sangrias in before our hostess asked if we were ready to make some cards. I shouted, “I’m ready to craft my pants!” You know me. This is not shocking behavior.

Have a Cute Christmas! BITCHES!

I also made a card that says, “Have a Cute Christmas! BITCHES” The BITCHES is in red ink under the stamp. Had I known there would be glitter, I would have waited and used that. Regardless, I had a lovely time hanging with my lady friends and pity that poor Stampin’ Up woman. Then we were off to the Fainting Goat for some fried pickles and laughter for a couple hours.

Monday was hard. I left work, worked two hours at the yoga studio, walked my dog, went back and took a class at 8 and then ran home to shower and meet up with friends at Dazzle by 9:30. We were gathered to send our dear Austrian friend off in style before went back to his homeland. We watched, mesmerized as our waitress shook my extra dirty martini in a rhythmic dance. The shaker went up, down, around her head, and then placed against her hip, till she finally poured. Sexiest martini ever.

Twice in one week. I'm an animal.

We ended the night at Charlie Brown’s; where, oddly enough, I ended up on Tuesday night to meet up for a little din din and drinks with a friend. It turned into a 4 hour gabfest and the change in temperature from the inside of the bar to the freezing cold outside almost sent me into a coma, but I made it home to a big down comforter and a pup who was happy to snuggle with me for warmth.

Wednesday was the marathon. I triple booked myself on Wednesday. After work, I was off to The Garage for a work happy hour to celebrate/say goodbye to a friend I have worked with for the last few months. Luckily, we were friends before and still are friends, so I’ll get to see him around. And that makes me happy.

Then I was off to The Curtis Hotel to volunteer at the “Yelp Helps” event. I dutifully hung coats, handed out goodie bags and brought drinks to the volunteers at the various charity tables. Then I had a martini so strong that I took two sips and put it down. I mean, I know it was free, but man, a good martini takes a little finesse to make. I’m not interested in drinking the equivalent of 3 shots from a conical glass with a stem.

So le modern! I love the Curtis.

Luckily, my next appointment was with some lovely derby ladies just next door at the Corner Office. I sipped on a Blue Moon and we caught up on all of our lives. We also came up with the name for our email distro list: The Shitting and Fucking Group. We are such ladies.

I got a nice breather on Thursday and Friday and was able to watch the shit out of some Battlestar Gallactica before Saturday. I went with a new friend to my favorite coffee place in Denver: Novo Coffee at the Art Museum. Yum! Then we hoofed it down to my favorite brewery in Denver, Great Divide. The plan was to taste a whole bunch of different beers, but it was so packed we decided to get a pack to go. Then we were off to City O’ City for some (surprisingly) delish vegan food and wonderful conversation for a couple hours.

Tastiest Taps in Denver!

Later, I headed to Beauty Bar to meet up with my crafty lady friends for some ladies night/bachelorette-ish fun. From there, we made the several block trek to Gabor’s where we finished the night off using straws to make walrus tusks. Or mustaches. Or angry eyebrows. Straws can be so many things.

Essentially, I made Denver Proper my bitch last week.

This week, I have purposefully planned nothing. Because, while last week was so much fun and I felt so proud and warmed to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends, both new and old, my introverted ass can’t pull that off for more than a week without starting to get a little grumpy. Also, my liver needs a little down time and I would like to get around six hours of sleep a night this week.

What can I say? I love all of my friends so much, but this bitch needs her fucking solitude every once in a while.